AnnzyPanzy.com

So we went to Subway on Saturday for lunch. Morgan doesn’t like cold cuts so I thought I would get a chicken sub (the strips rather than the whole chicken breast) with double meat. Instead of putting the meat on my sub, I would just ask for it on the side. It costs a buck for the double meat which meant that Morgan’s lunch would only cost a buck! WOO HOO!! OK, so the “bread and meat” girl cut my bread, put the cheese on the bread, popped the chicken into the microwave, and slid my sub down to the “fixins” girl. Here is where the comedy begins! She puts all of the veggies on the bread, followed by salt and pepper and a little low fat mayo. She then proceeded to close my sub but I had to remind her that the chicken should go on there first. The chicken came on two cardboard trays (remember, I had double meat). So when she was about to put the chicken on the sub, I told her that I only wanted one of them on the sandwich and the other on the side. She put one STRIP of chicken on the sub and then looked at me as if she were very perplexed. A second goes by….another second goes by….I am standing on the other side of the sneeze guard waiting for her to put the remaining chicken on the sub when it occurred to me that she thought I meant that I wanted one piece of chicken rather than one serving of chicken on the sub. (My God! I am laughing as I am typing this!!!!) So I tell her that I want the whole serving on there and then I could see the light bulb finally turn on in her brain!! We finished the order, paid, got our drinks, and sat down to eat. I was still chuckling about the whole thing as I ate….hell, I am still chuckling about it 2 days later!

Subway….EAT FRESH!!!

Josh had half a day of school today so I took half a day too. We went to see Click with Adam Sandler. Josh has been watching Adam Sandler films since he was a little feller. He loved Big Daddy. For all of you gasping because I let him watch Adam Sandler….kiss it! When your kid is lying in the fetal position in a pool of his own spit and vomit when he actually joins the real world (that’s right! you heard me! you can’t protect them from the real world forever!), Josh will be cruisin’ right along!

Anyway, we went to see Click. It was really good. I laughed. I cried. I loved it! Another thing great about this movie….two words….Christopher Walken! Also, I have changed my mind! When they make a movie based on my life, I want Kate Beckinsale to play me instead of Sandra Bullock. She is gorgeous!!! If I could just get my hair to look like that! OK…back to the movie. Adam Sandler likes to surround himself with his buddies. Some weren’t in this movie but Henry Winkler and Sean Astin were. AND…Sean Astin was in a speedo. Stinkin’ hilarious. David Hasselhoff did a great job as Adam Sandler’s boss.

This movie is It’s a Wonderful Life meets (INSERT FAVORITE SANDLER MOVIE HERE…Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison). He plays an architect trying to impress his boss to get the big promotion while always disappointing his family because he devotes all of his time to work. He’s sick of struggling to make ends meet. The neighbor kid is always hasseling him about his crappy car. He is always getting the horde of remote controls on his coffee table confused (he turns on the ceiling fan, or opens the garage door, or operates his kid’s remote control cars or planes instead of turning on the TV). His son tells him that the neighbor kid has a universal remote that operates everything with one remote so he finally goes to Bed, Bath, & Beyond (because it was the only store open in the strip mall) to find a universal remote. After he finds the “Bed” and the “Bath,” he sees a door marked “Beyond.” Who does he find behind the door? Christopher Walken, of course, who gives him a UNIVERSAL remote…”kind of like TiVo…a MeVo.” He soon finds out that the remote controls more than the TV and comedy ensues…but so does so much more. I don’t want to spoil it for you. Go see it. If you like Adam Sandler’s brand of comedy, you won’t be disappointed.

I give it two thumbs and a big toe up (on a scale of two thumbs and two big toes).

I am sure you all heard of the tragic and freakish death of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. His last moments were caught on film. Spooky. Anyway, I always thought that he would go out by some wild animal….and I guess that’s the way he would have wanted it. I think that it’s quite sad actually. He left a family behind. I don’t think anyone will ever take his place. He was truly unique.

If you want to find out more about stingrays, check out the entry in Wikipedia. The day that the Crocodile Hunter died, they had already changed the entry to include the fact that he was killed by one. Check it out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dasyatidae

Allow me to digress for one moment. Do you remember the encyclopedia sets that we had to use pre-Internet? We had a nice set of the World Book Encyclopedia (circa 1980ish). They were awesome. We were the only ones in our neighborhood to have a set and all the neighbor kids would have to come over whenever they had an assignment. My grandparents had a set too (circa 1960ish). I hated using that set. Not because they were out of date but because they smelled really, really bad when you opened one. I guess we didn’t get up-to-the-minute additions to those old sets. You kids today have it too good! When I was a kid……

First, let me set this one up for you. A few years ago, we went to Cancun. As soon as I stepped off the plane, people started speaking Spanish to me. Of course, I didn’t think anything of it. I was in Mexico after all. Long story short….people thought I was from Mexico, Argentina, and Brazil and were shocked when I told them I was….ahem….West Virginian!!

Fast forward a couple of years to my first week in my new job. I was walking to the restroom when a lady, let’s call her Rebecca (names have been changed to protect the innocent) stopped me.

Rebecca: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure.”

Rebecca: “Are you a Mexican?”

Note that she didn’t ask if I were Mexican but “A” Mexican.

Me: “No, I’m not Mexican.”

Rebecca: “Are you Spanish?”

Me: “No.”

OK. Now fast forward to…now. I was home sitting at one end of the dining table working on a document for work on my laptop. Derek was sitting at the opposite end of the table working on his laptop. Suddenly, this pop-up popped up on the screen:

I immediately looked up at Derek and said….

Even my computer thinks I’m a Mexican!!

Adios!!

The new fall TV season is upon us and two of my favorite shows have been canceled…Invasion (ABC) and Surface (NBC). Why is it that my shows are always canceled? With cliff-hanger season finales, I will forever wonder what should have been!! Dave, I will miss your rants! Russell, I will miss your dimples! Laura and Rich, will you ever find your way back home? Miles, do you turn into one of the creatures?? The world will never know!

At least I still have Bones! The new season starts tomorrow. And my new found love….Dr. Greg House! Thanks FOX!! You rock!

NOTHING!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, Pluto has been downgraded to a “dwarf planet.” Change all of your mnemonic devices!! No longer are the days of–My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. Under the new rules set forth by the all-knowing, omniscient International Astronomical Union (you suck! you suck!), a planet must meet three criteria: it must orbit the Sun, it must be big enough for gravity to squash it into a round ball, and it must have cleared other things out of the way in its orbital neighborhood. The last of these criteria knocks out Pluto and Xena (another dwarf planet with a way-cool name discovered recently). Dwarf planets need only orbit the Sun and be round. HOWEVER!! Note that only 400-500 of the 2500 or so members were actually in Prague to vote! I think it’s a conspiracy. What did Pluto do to them!!?? Poor little lonely ball of ice!! One NASA big-wig thinks its a crock….and so do I!! Pluto, discovered in 1930, should be grandfathered in! I’m going to start a petition or something!!

Until I can convince the International Astronomical Union of Poop-heads to rethink this whole Pluto-is-not-a-planet-anymore-thing, here are some other mnemonic devices to chew on. I didn’t make these up so I will apologize in advance!

My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nachos.
My Very Elderly Mother Just Sits Up Nights.
Major Volcanoes Erupt, Making Jolts, Shaking, Unsteadying Nerves. (I need a mnemonic device for this mnemonic device!!)
Make Very Extraordinary Meals of Jell-O, Strawberries and Unsalted Nuts.
Mary’s Violet Eyes Make Jack Stare Until Noticed.
My Very Exotic Mistress Just Showed Up Nude. (That’s one the guys will remember!!)

Pluto will always be a planet to me!

Thanks for reading!
AnnzyPanzy

As my grandfather would say, I have been “studying” what to write for the first post to my blog. Wanna hear it? Here it goes! Why AnnzyPanzy.com? My uncle Bill (AKA Bumble Bee) has called me Annzy Panzy for years which eventually was shortened to Panz. Over the years I have identified with it so it’s my handle, my cognomen, my sobriquet. He has nicknames for everyone. Fittingly, we have one for him too. Anyway, my sister is Beavy, short for Beaver, because when she was little she used to bite everyone and she had this light blue t-shirt with “Eat a Beaver, Save a Tree” on the front. ?? I don’t know why. It was the 70s!! My mom is Boosh which is a derivative of Bush (get your minds out of the gutter!!!) because she always wore her hair crazy and bushy. My friend Jayson (www.livingstonvidaloca.com)has already pointed out the bush-beaver connection. ‘Nuf said!! Anyway, there it is. The story behind AnnzyPanzy.com.

Here is what’s going on this week. It’s pretty busy! The middle of June is always a crazy ride!

Derek and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary on the 15th. Actually, we have been together since 1990. September will make 16 years. I have been with him for half my life! WOW!! It’s kinda awe inspiring when I actually type it. I don’t have a poem similar to the one he wrote me (check it out at www.drumminguy.com) but I will say that I don’t want to be anywhere else in the whole world but with him (and my boys). Love you, Babe!

The 15th is also my 8 year “Lilly anniversary.” It’s the longest that I have been in one place…consecutively!! I have enjoyed every minute of those 8 years! It’s a great place to be. Check out our site, www.Lilly.com.

The 17th was Josh’s last baseball game. He hit one to the fence!! Not bad for a 6 year old! He also made a very “Derek Jeter play” by diving to make a stop and then throwing from a kneeling position to get the runner out at first! By the way, he can already switch hit! He’s one heck of a baseball player and that is my unbiased opinion! With that said, I unfortunately missed it all! I had to man the post at our annual community yard sale. We racked up some extra cash for our Florida/Disney trip scheduled for August. Since we had a softball game on the 15th, we celebrated our anniversary on Saturday by dining at our favorite Italian place, Enrico’s located in the heart of Broad Ripple. The food is sooooo good there. We seriously have to thank our friends, Scott and Adi, for introducing us to Enrico’s a few years ago! I had the mahi mahi with shrimp and scallops on a bed of linguine and Derek went with a classic, lasagna. He loves Italian food so much. I swear this man was Italian in his former life!! We ended our nite with a movie, The Lake House with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. A great movie!! Wow! Dinner and a movie on the same nite!

The 18th was Father’s Day. Derek had a killer Father’s Day this year…not to mention that I mowed the lawn for him as part of his gift! I’m not sure I’ll be so generous and giving next year!!! Josh, Morgan, and I picked out some awesome Adidas running shoes for him…unfortunately I got him the wrong size! We also got him an awesome Cardinals hat…fitted and all! Again, the wrong size. I’m batting 0 for 2 here!! He also got a leaf blower from Sears….Craftsman, of course! What do you take me for!!?? OK…so now I’m 1 for 2. After we took back the wrongly sized items and exchanged them for the correct sizes, we finished the day at El Puerto, our favorite authentic Mexican restaraunt. OK….2 for 2. Not too bad, if I say so myself!!! He deserved every stinkin’ bit of it too. Derek is the kind of dad we all wish we had. Thanks for being so great!

Finally, looking ahead now. My birthday is on Wednesday. My 9th Annual 25th (make sure you count 25 as the 1st annual 25th to calculate my actual age. No fuzzy math out there, people!!). My sister is coming out to help celebrate. I can’t wait. It should be a good time.

OK….I think that is enough for now. Thanks for reading my inaugural post.

AnnzyPanzy